Tourists and Backpackers 9

 A TOURIST  misses the scenic landscape because he’s too busy scribbling facts from the guide’s monologue into his notebook.

In a picturesque historic town, he doesn’t notice the life, the locals, the animals, the markets, the colors, or the smells - but in the cathedral and museum, he races from one statue to the next, frantically jotting down all fifty historical dates recited by the guide, which he’ll never look at again.

Janin Klemenčič (to be continued)

Tourists and Backpackers 8

A TOURIST  reads the travel brochure and ponders, "If it’s Friday, we must be in Belgium."  He thinks they were in Spain yesterday and will be in Greece tomorrow—even though neither is on the schedule. 

 The day before yesterday, they were supposed to be in France, but he doesn’t remember that. "When the hell were we in the Netherlands?"

Janin Klemenčič (to be continued)

Tourists and Backpackers 7

 A TOURIST  is someone who shuffles from one landmark to another, sheepishly following a bored tour guide who, waving a little flag, repeats the same joke seven times in seven different languages.  

Dressed in checkered shorts, a short-sleeved floral shirt, a cap with a visor, sandals with socks, and a big fancy camera that he doesn’t really understand, he snaps photos of whatever everyone else is photographing—without really knowing why.

Janin Klemenčič (to be continued)

Tourists and Backpackers 6

 
On the first day of vacation, the TOURIST lounges on the beach, eyeing shapely young women and imagining what he’d do with them if he were twenty years younger. 

The next six days, he spends recovering from sunburn in his hotel room, only to return to the bar in the evening to ogle the same women while complaining to his friend what he would do with them if only his annoying wife weren’t around.

Janin Klemenčič (to be continued)